Friday, April 24, 2015

Rebuilding

Four years ago I began my journey as a Maryknoll Missioner.  Having returned approx 3 weeks ago to the U.S. I am mindful of the new stage I  have entered in my life.  4 years ago I was working on dismantling my life which was getting rid of my possessions, my job, my car, and responsibilities here in the U.S.  As I wrote back then I found a freedom in releasing myself from so much stuff and enjoyed moving into a simpler life.  Now it is time to rebuild that life I left behind.  With this stage I find myself feeling excited, scared, overwhelmed, and optimistic.

One of the first things I did when I returned home was buy some new cloths.  Mostly because I was cold.  I came from a very tropical environment and Oregon is cold, at least for now.  I have always enjoyed new cloths but I want to be practical and get what I need not just what I want.

My main priority is to find a job.  This is where the majority of my time is spent these days.  I have had a few interviews but no job yet.  I need a job before I can decide where I will live and before I buy a car. My parents are great, giving me a place to live and they let me use their car whenever I need.  I really have to force myself to be patient because I consider myself a very decisive person.  I like to make a decision and take action.  For now I need to wait on moving on until I get a job.  I am working on living in the present moment and enjoying the simple things.  Like hot water that comes out of the sink, driving a car, and of course being able to flush my toilet paper (sorry if that is too much information).

Honestly, sometimes when I think about rebuilding not only my life but a home it is a little bit daunting.  But my goal is to keep it as simple as possible.  To not be afraid to get what I need, but I don't want to go back to what I had.  Which was cupboards full of things I might use one day but really never used.  Last week my sister gave me her Goodwill pile which was a pan, some coffee cups and 3 wooden spoons.  I was so happy to get that.  So now I have a little pile started which awaits my new home.

I think one of the hardest things is rebuilding the relationships in my life.  Someone said to me the other day, "we got use to you being away."  Which is the reality in life, people and life move on.  I know some relationships will withstand the 4 years of me being gone and some I will cherish for what they were and be grateful for the moments I had in those relationships.  Soon I will also be making new relationships which is exciting.

One thing I learned from working on the construction project in Brazil is that rebuilding comes with both challenges and advances.  It always takes a little longer than we want and there are surprises along the way.  But rebuilding is about new beginnings, hope for a better future, and dreaming of creating something wonderful.  In so many of my job applications or interviews I am asked what my goals are.  Of course I share the goals that are appropriate for the given job.  But my ultimate goal is to live a mindful life full of joy, love, and simplicity.  I want to live this journey of life with grace, solidarity, and always looking to new possibilities.



Sunday, January 11, 2015

Celebrating 3 years

About three and a half years ago I had a Mass with my family and friends to send me into mission.  For one of the songs my friend Jill suggested I do "The Summons" by Robert Kochis.  The words of the song had more meaning then I could have ever imagined.  Now as I mark 3 years on January 12th in Brazil I reflect on what these words really meant for me in my journey as a missioner.  

Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know and never be the same?
Will you let my love be shown? Will you let my name be known,
will you let my life be grown in you and you in me?
Three 1/2 years ago as I listened to these words I had no idea where I would go and who I would meet in my journey.  I only knew that I felt called to spend my days with every attempt to serve the poor and marginalized.  I have grown in ways I could not have imagined as I was faced with being vulnerable, humbled, and  living most days outside my comfort zone. I have learned to trust my intuition and to follow my heart even when it is really hard to do so.  
Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?
Will you care for cruel and kind and never be the same?
Will you risk the hostile stare should your life attract or scare?
Will you let me answer prayer in you and you in me?
As a missioner and  foreigner there really is no place I totally fit in.  Sometimes that has been very difficult as people stare or make strange faces as I try to interact with them. And some people go out of their way to treat us special.  It is really a mixed bag but most of the time I have found that Brazilians are very loving, giving people.  
As in most of the ministry I have done in my life there are only moments when I get a glimpse of the difference I might have made in people's life.  I have a few moments I can claim as achievements but mostly I just trust that my presence in the lives of those I have met has impacted them in some way.  I know that their presence in my life has had an impacted on me.  
Will you let the blinded see if I but call your name?
Will you set the prisoners free and never be the same?
Will you kiss the leper clean and do such as this unseen,
and admit to what I mean in you and you in me?
In my time in Brazil I have the privilege to work with teenage moms,  women in prison, teens living in a poor neighborhood, and now at a women's health center.  So when I hear these words of the song the faces of those I have worked with run through my mind.  I hope that through me they experienced a piece of God's grace just as I experienced the grace of God through them.  
Will you love the “you” you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found to reshape the world around,
Through my sight and touch and sound in you and you in me?
I have faced a lot of fears and found parts of myself I had hidden or did not know existed.  In many ways I am not the same girl that left Oregon 3 1/2 years ago.  I have grown and learned how to trust myself and believe that I can do whatever I set my mind too.  My faith has been a constant support.  Life as a missioner is exciting and amazing but it can also be frustrating and lonely.  I think experience has made me a stronger person and am grateful for God's unending presence in my life.  

Lord your summons echoes true when you but call my name.
Let me turn and follow you and never be the same.
In Your company I’ll go where Your love and footsteps show.
Thus I’ll move and live and grow in you and you in me.
I set out on a journey that some thought was crazy and others thought was brave.  I really just wanted to live what my heart was calling me to do.  Sure in all of it there have been elements of crazy and brave but what I am truly grateful for are all those who have been part of this journey with me both at home and in Brazil.  In the moments when I have felt most alone I was always able to stop and think about all the love that has poured out to me in these past years.  I set out on a journey with a lot of unknowns and now as I look back on it what I do know is that I am a strong, loving person who is so lucky to have had the chance to go beyond my comfort zone, and so blessed to have been touched by the grace that happens when we open ourselves up to the world.
"The Summons", by Robert Kochis



Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Giving Tuesday...a reminder of how to give to the world each and every day.



Today at lunch a man asked me what made me want to come to Brazil.   I like this question for a few reasons one it helps me share a part of my personal story with others and two it helps remind me of my initial desires some 4 years ago to become  a missioner.   Answering this question at times is a bit of a dance because I use to say I had the desire to serve the poor, which is true but hard to say when I am eating with those that who are poor in material means but not poor in so many other ways.  It was nice sharing my reasons for leaving my home, my friends and family and adventuring out into the world.  It is so affirming to have others listen to why I think it is important to give and share what I haven been given in my life.  For example, an education, work experience, and the freedom to make choices based on a larger world view.

When I got home today I read on Facebook that today is giving Tuesday.  A day set aside to give back to the world and share with the world what we are doing.  I found it ironic that I had already begun sharing with others today why I chose to give my life to others.  The other part of this idea which I think is missing and which I have been learning over the years is how I receive.  Granted I could list what I do on a daily basis to give to others but if I am to do that I think it is important to list too how I receive from the very people I give too.

Yesterday at AFYA was pay day.  A day where I am pretty popular with the women I work with because I do the payroll.  Our payroll is pretty simple because we take the money we earn for the month, take out our expenses and divide the rest of the money between the staff members.  November was a good month,  the women earned between $170 & $ 250 dollars for the month.  The cost of living here is about the same as the US.  Imagine living on this amount.  Yet everyone was so excited and so happy when on behalf of AFYA I gave them their money.

At one moment during the day I was getting a migraine which was making it hard to think and do the accounting I needed to do to finish my work.  So I went downstairs and Maria gave me a massage  to help with my headache. This beautiful woman does not know how to read and write and lives in a very poor neighborhood.  But yesterday she helped me in such a big way by sharing with me her gift of healing.  Maria is one of the women I came to help but now that I have a relationship with her I realize she helps me as much as I help her.   This is true for all the women I work with.  Each one adds something to my life.  Whether it is helping me with my health, or making sure I get something to eat at lunch or helping me cultural or language issues.  I have learned that it is great to have the desire to give and be open with our hearts but it is as equally as important to be open to receiving.

I think giving Tuesday is a great idea, and I would add it is important to give every day of the week. Having a special day set aside to remind us the importance of giving is like being asked to share my story of why I chose to be a missioner.  It inspires some and also reminds me of the importance of remembering why I do what I do.  Every day should be a day of giving and also for receiving.

I realize one important element to this day is to give to charities and I know this importance because I am able to survive because of the money that others give to me.  And I should add if you have the desire to give it would help me stay in mission and I would receive it will appreciation.  You can find information on how to give below through PayPal or Maryknoll Sisters.  It is important to look at the specific directions so the money comes to me directly.

34 years ago today Maryknoll Sr. Maura Clarke, Sr. Ita Ford, Sr. Dorothy Kazel and Lay Missioner Jean Donovan were abducted, raped and violently murdered while returning from the airport in El Salvador.  These Maryknoll Sisters and Lay Missioner gave the ultimate gift, their lives in service to others.  These are the shoulders on which I stand as a Maryknoll Affiliate Missioner in Brazil. Maryknoll Sister Ita Ford wrote the poem here reminding us that giving can provide us with deep meaning and energy to live our life to the fullest.  I too hope I continue to find ways to live my life giving to others and to always remember the people I give too also have something I need to receive, even if it is a simple thank you.

If you missed giving today, don't worry giving Tuesday may have passed but we always have giving Wednesday.

I close by remembering the Maryknoll women who died 34 years ago today and thank them for their gift of life in the fight for justice for the poor in El Salvador.  Their lives were and are shining examples to me of how we can give to the world each and every day.



You can donate to help keep me in mission by:

Pay Pal:  this is the best way for me.  Go to paypal my info is Carolyn Trumble at trumble100@gmail.com

You can send a tax deductible check made out to Maryknoll Sisters and indicate it is designated to Women’s Holistic Center, in Brazil and under care of Sr. Efu Nyaki.  P.O. Box 311, Maryknoll, NY 10545-0311   

NOTE: YOU MUST ADDRESS THE DONATION EXACTLY THIS WAY IN ORDER FOR IT TO REACH ME!!!!!!!!!
Thank You!







Sunday, November 16, 2014

My Adventures in Mission

Staff at AFYA at workshop I help facilitate with Sr. Efu

What You Will Find in my November Newsletter
  • Life Lessons.
  • Your support can keep me in mission.
  • Plans for a new building at AFYA.
  • Story about a women who came to AFYA for healing.
  • Pictures, and more pictures.



Life Lessons

Five months have passed now since I have returned to Brazil as a Maryknoll Affiliate.  In that time I have become ever so grateful for all the lessons I have learned in life.  I am amazed at how many skills and resources I draw upon in order to live my life as a missionary.

I have had many different types of work in my life from accounting, youth ministry, communication, and missioner.  I find I use so many of those different skills on a daily basis.   For example I studied accounting 20 years ago but I have more knowledge of it then others and so I am now the bookkeeper.  We are beginning a construction project at AFYA and I am one of the staff members responsible for it.  I have been thinking how grateful I am for the experiences I have had like building a barn with my dad and mixing cement by hand in Mexico. 

Last week we had a staff training and I used my skills from communication and youth ministry to create teaching dynamics with Sr. Efu. 

Some of our staff members are taking a class to learn to read and write.  I have been able to understand their challenges of reading because as a child I struggled with it and now have the same experience in learning a new language.

Every day I learn something new about myself or about life.   I am becoming so aware that all the experiences I have had have shaped me into who I am and provided me with knowledge I sometimes take for granted.

Maria and Julia.  Maria is a cook at AFYA.
Now as a missioner I am learning even more.  I am fortunate to work with women who may not have the same education I do but who have so much wisdom and life experience.  Life has a lot to teach us and I have learned we never know when those lessons will come in handy.   

The neighbor girls of AFYA.

Your support can help keep me in mission.  Please consider making a donation to help me continue serving the marginalized in Brazil.


Since I am a Maryknoll Affiliate I do not receive funding from an organization.  If you have the ability to contribute to help me stay in mission it would be very helpful so I can cover the basic necessities in life.

You can donate by:
Pay Pal:  this is the best way for me.  Go to paypal my info is Carolyn Trumble at trumble100@gmail.com

You can send a tax deductible check made out to Maryknoll Sisters and indicate it is designated to Women’s Holistic Center, in Brazil and under care of Sr. Efu Nyaki.  P.O. Box 311, Maryknoll, NY 10545-0311  

NOTE: YOU MUST ADDRESS THE DONATION EXACTLY THIS WAY IN ORDER FOR IT TO REACH ME!!!!!!!!!
Thank You!


The New AFYA after March 2015

Staff standing in front of building to be torn down

Photo of the current AFYA buildings.













Using Bricks and Mortar to Reform Lives

AFYA A Center for Holistic Healing will celebrate 15 years this coming March. Started by Maryknoll Sisters Efu Nyaki and Connie Pospisil alongside a group of Brazilian Women, the center works to provide holistic healing in a poor neighborhood of Joao Pessoa, Brazil.  Starting on November 17th AFYA will begin a reform which will bring not only new improvements to the existing buildings but a restaurant which will service healthy, natural food,

As the opening of construction begins on the compound, the women of AFYA are not only beginning to lay a new foundation of bricks and mortar they are beginning a process of building onto the foundation of a collaborative working team that provides the women with a livelihood and the community with therapies for healing.  With a vision of evolutionary consciousness, Sr. Efu will lead the women in workshops focusing on ways to revitalize the staff and create new ways of working together, communicating and visioning for the future. 

The architects that are working with the building project have entered into a strong collaboration with the women capturing the spirit of AFYA.  For one of the first meetings they gathered all the women and asked the opinion of all 18 staff members.  Each person gave their ideas and opinions.  The final plans of the project remarkably included every idea that was presented at that meeting. 

Next week some of the old buildings will begin to be torn down and new bricks and mortar will be used to build up the new.  The building will provide AFYA the ability to serve our clients better and offer a healthy alternative for food in a community which needs more health education and options.  At the heart of AFYA the thing that cements the spirit and healing that happens on a daily basis are the women who have been trained and nurtured over the last 15 years in the therapies of healing.  They are the foundation of AFYA.  Their love, care and talents are the building blocks on which the center rests.


Maria Ausciliadora

Maria Ausciliadora
 I work at Afya a Holistic Healing Center located in a marginalized neighborhood situated in the periphery of the city of João Pessoa, Brazil.  It is an organization run by Women from the nearby communities.  Afya receives many people from the communities who have suffered from daily stress of domestic and urban violence, extreme poverty, drugs, alcohol abuse, etc.  The holistic healing therapies we offer have provided a lot of awareness and wellness for many people. To be specific, the following is an amazing story of one of the women who came to Afya for healing and after her transformation became a member of the team who work at Afya. 

Maria Ausciliadora, 42 years old came to Afya 9 years ago with severe and frequent epileptic attacks. She was diagnosed with Epilepsy since she was 5 years old.  Since then, she used medication to try to control the attacks knowing that there was no cure for this disease. When she was 33 years old her epileptic attacks started to occur more often to the extent that she was afraid to leave her house by herself.  By the time she came to Afya her attacks were as often as twice a week or even more depending on the stressful situations that she encountered.  Auscilliadora lives in a neighborhood that is in the periphery of the city of João Pessoa with high indices of violence, drug use, regular assaults on buses, etc. and she told us that at night she has a hard time sleeping because she often hears the sounds of gunshots.


Maria Ausciliadora had chronic muscle tensions as well as constantly being angry and irritated.   After two years of therapy sessions Maria Ausciliadora became more playful and started experiencing some moments of relaxation and joyfulness. She also noted that her epileptic crisis were fewer compared to before she started doing her sessions at Afya.  Then she was able to negotiate with her doctor about taking less of her medication. She eventually stopped taking medication and today she is doing fine with no medication.  A couple of the years after Ausiciliadora first came to Afya seeking healing she asked if she could join the team that works at the center. She had the desire to help other women who come with the similar situation.  

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Give and Receive

One of the guiding principals of our work at AFYA with families and people seeking healing from traumas etc. is to give and receive.  Sounds simple but I have found in my life I am not always good at balancing these two principals.

During my 25+ years as a minister and almost 3 years as a missioner I find that I have spent a lot of my life giving to others.  Which is great and important.  However, I have not always been really good at receiving.  Which at times has caused me to be unhealthy.

For example, when I lived in Sao Paulo as a missioner I struggled for a really long time.  I wanted to be a missioner in Brazil and had the desire or calling to continue my work here.  But I was not finding a way to recharge my batteries and lacked a way to connect with what feeds my soul.  I was giving but not receiving.  I had no idea how important it was for me to have regular contact with nature.  The hectic lifestyle and pollution of a big city was not good for me. Because of this I suffered a lot of back pain, had more headaches, problems with astyma etc.  So I took the leap of faith and left the comfort of receiving a salary and support from Maryknoll Lay Missioners and moved to Joao Pessoa to live with the Maryknoll Sisters.  Here I am so much better.   Today I went and walked on the beach and worked in the garden.  As the water hit my legs it was almost like I felt the joy return to my body.  

I have learned it is so important to have these outlets so that I can stay healthy and balanced in order to serve others.  I see and experience some of the same things that I did in Sao Paulo.  Poverty, violence, people who suffer from lack of education and good health care.  I also witness lives of people who are loving, spiritual and very giving.  Some days are harder than others, but without an outlet for myself I would fall back into a pattern of giving and not receiving what I need.

These past few months have been a learning experience for me.  I am still surprised when I come in contact with nature of how life giving it is for me.  I have also learned to receive the generosity of people who have given money and support to help me stay in mission.  And I so grateful for the Maryknoll Sisters who have opened their home and hearts to me.  

My wish is that I continue on this journey of learning how to be balanced in giving and receiving. Also I wish for many of my friends who are ministers, missioners, mothers and fathers that they have the opportunity to examine their lives and see if they are balanced as well.  I know too many ministers who are unhealthy, overweight and stressed out because they are always giving to other people.  I can say this because I have been there.  But I can see now that this way of life is not good for them, their families or the people they serve.  

I plan to continue my journey to give and receive and live a more balanced life and I hope that we all can do this which in turn will make for a healthier, happier, world.  

A view from my walk on the beach today.  So life giving.

Sunday, August 24, 2014

August 2014 Newsletter

Tea time with some of the women at work.
My community: myself, Sr. Efu, Armeline, and Sr. Ceny.
  Gratitude
The struggle ends when the gratitude begins. –Neale Donald Walsch

Our new neighbor Diego.
One trait many Brazilians have is the gift of gratitude. They thank God in a very sincere ways for daily blessings I often overlook.  For example when the power goes out and then returns someone almost always thanks God for the power returning, or when we don’t have water for a while when it returns so many offer a prayer of thanksgiving for water arriving. 

One of my duties at AFYA is to help with payroll.  This last month when we paid the women one came to me and asked me to read her envelope and tell her how much money she earned.  She does not know how to read and so I read it R$576 at this she started crying.  That is approx. $250 (dollars) for the month.  She was hugging me and kissing me and thanking God for the salary she received.  She is the only person earning money in her home right now and the cost of living in Brazil is about the same as in the U.S.  So I cannot imagine how she lives on $250 a month.  Yet when she received it she gave thanks for what she had.  

And so I would like to give thanks for the blessings in my life, for my friends and family and community in Brazil.  I am grateful for all those who give or have given money to support me in mission.  I thank God the Maryknoll Sisters and their opening their home, work and hearts to me,  and I too thank God for power and water and all that I receive on a daily bases.  

Fatima and her granddaughter.
Maria and her grandson playing Bingo
at our fundraiser.
Dona Rosa and I trying out the
motorcycle which was the prize at
our Bingo fundraiser.
                                                         

                                                       





                                                                  

                                                                   My Work at AFYA

As I think most of you are aware AFYA is a holistic health center for women. Our primary focus is serving the women of Brazil who are challenged by poor health care. AFYA provides natural healing for women, men and children. The women who work at AFYA are simple women from a poor neighborhood in Joao Pessoa. Sr. Efu has supported their training over the years and they have been certificated in their field.

My work is helping them develop a better accounting system and to be a leader in art therapy. We have been working hard on developing new accounting systems and August was our first month to implicate them. They are going well, but as anything we still need some time to train everyone and work out the bugs.

We have revamped the art therapy and the women have begun creating things to sell. Our focus is on health. So we are making products to help with that. I started taking a class last week on how to make soap using natural products. After I learn I will teach them. We have started making healing shawls which are similar to prayer shawls in the U.S. Since we are not a church we changed the wording a little on the blessing but in Brazil a strong Catholic culture we are able to say we are asking God to bless them and send them healing energy as they use the shawl.

The other thing I am working at is designing ideas to use items we already have in order to recycle and sell. We have a lot of things collected over the years that I believe we can change just a little and then sell. The women are working on that with me but need a lot of guidance. We will be working on creativity and trying to come up with new ideas. When we go to the art fairs almost everything is the same in every booth. This will take some work but I believe once we get started it will come naturally. I have to remember my work is not just to help them raise funds for their salary but to bring things like creativity and a broader understanding of accounting into their lives so they can learn what I was blessed to learn through my education and upbringing. In return I am learning how to live a healthier life from them.




Things that Still Surprise Me

Although I have lived in Brazil for 2.5 years there are still some things surprise me. i.e.

1. Horses pulling carts in the road.
2. Children riding in cars without seat belts.
3. Power/internet going out regularly.
4. How good the fruit here tastes.
5. Violence that seems to be a daily part of life.
6. Bugs..frogs..lizards.
7. Extreme Hospitality
8. The amount of people who cannot read and write.
9. How much Brazilians love soccer.
10. Myself

 Answered Prayers.......It has been about three years ago that I went to New York to interview to be a Maryknoll Lay Missioner.  It was a three day interview and I am reminded these days about one of the last questions I was asked.  The interview asked, "If you could have anything in mission what would it be?"  My response was "I would like to be a missioner who lives by the ocean and can go to beach often."  Well a lot has changed since then the Lay Missioners sent me to one of the largest cities in the world with very little nature.  They had no houses by the beach.  And yet here I am.  My time in Sao Paulo lead me to be in community with the Maryknoll Sisters.  Which lead me here to Joao Pessoa, a city on the ocean.  And I am indeed a missioner who can walk to the beach on my day off.  I was struck by this the other day.  God answers prayers just not in the ways we always plan, but they are answered.  

Partners in Mission

Thank you for all those that have donated to partner with me in mission.  If you would like to support me in mission you can donate by:

Pay Pal:  this is the best way for me.  Go to paypal my info is Carolyn Trumble at trumble100@gmail.com

You can send a tax deductible check to Maryknoll Sisters and indicate it is designated to Women’s Holistic Center, in Brazil and under care of Sr. Efu Nyaki.  P.O. Box 311, Maryknoll, NY 10545-0311  
NOTE: YOU MUST ADDRESS EXACTLY THIS WAY IN ORDER FOR IT TO REACH ME.
Thank You!